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I'm only here

by Joe Peacock

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1.
Never too far away Standing at the start line with my best friend James Never won before so we expected the same Ankles tied together with a coloured band Something’s going to happen that we don’t understand These bonds should be invisible, but I can see them today A mile over the fields, you were never too far away No matter where we travel the memory always remains The day I won the three legged race with my friend James Driving to the gala there’s excitement in the air I know you’re going to beat me, but I really don’t care Outside in the car park we were dancing in the streets Not caring what we looked like, we were lost in the beat
2.
Don’t blame the mirror Born on April Fools’ Day 1809 His mother married at 14 and gave birth eleven times His father was a literary type And for Nikolai writing was a ray of light. Don’t blame the mirror if your face is faulty He’ll still laugh his bitter laugh He’ll be OK, he’s got sugar in his pockets And breadcrumbs in his hands, so he can concentrate Classmates called him the mysterious dwarf He had a biting tongue and was always theatrical Hated thunderstorms, they destroyed his mood Bought all the copies of his poems and then burnt them in his room. Don’t blame the mirror if your face is faulty He’ll still laugh his bitter laugh He’ll be OK, he’s got sugar in his pockets And breadcrumbs in his hands, so he can concentrate Did his nose really annoy him? Did he wake up in a coffin? Did he really go insane? Could anyone have saved him From the priest and his sadism When he starved himself to death? They say his last words were: “How sweet it is to die.” Maybe at last some peace came to Nikolai
3.
You taught me to make sushi and many other things You gave the best hugs when my heart was breaking So giving even when your mind was under attack We lost touch for so many years, now I’m glad to have you back Drawing pictures of cutesy fairy tale scenes Giant mushrooms and fairies in a world full of dreams But that’s just one side of you, there’s so much more So many things that you've used your talents to fight for
4.
Wise by asking why Soaring on the fair white wings of imagination The bride of science born of a poet and a mathematician Forced to lie down perfectly still to develop self control Like looms weaves flowers, she said machines weaved algebra Enchanting numbers and asking questions You get to be wise by asking why An engine on the threshold of unknown worlds It took a woman’s mind to understand Endless possibilities, not just tables of numbers Throwing rays into focus from the corners of the universe Memory and looped equations, a process faster than thought A woman born ahead of her time had the answers Turing sought
5.
Blood on their hands Everything about him just smells of deceit Throughout his life he’s always been a liar and a cheat The one person you really don't want to be in charge The only option worse than him is Nigel Farage It’s hard to believe this could have gone worse We’ve got a petulant toddler driving the hearse It’s an emergency you can’t trust this man Now him and his cronies have got blood on their hands Eton doesn’t prepare you to be sympathetic But his lack of competence is just pathetic He came to power on a lie printed on a bus He only cared about himself and never about us. They’ve got the blood of nurses on their hands They’ve got the blood of doctors on their hands They’ve got the blood of the elderly on their hands They’ve got 100,000 people’s blood on their hands
6.
The flame’s gone The blessing of a warning of the end That’s what they asked the old bishop to send Ever diminishing fire showed the way to the next world Over mountains, rivers and marsh The foolish fire would swiftly pass Like stolen electricity The lights, the people The land, the stories The flame’s gone with a fickle breeze Nothing spiritual in streets like these The dying sun’s replaced Where no-one knows your face Nothing rots in a desert like this A dark corner where the drunk men piss Is this as wild as it gets now? Follow your modern Will-o’-the wisps At home while guzzling beer and crisps No smell of fire in your hair now. The lights, the people The land, the stories The flame’s gone with a fickle breeze Nothing spiritual in streets like these The dying sun’s replaced Where no-one knows your face
7.
Pretending 03:57
Pretending The Earl's illegitimate daughter Joined the army disguised as a man Captain Bowen’s slave dressed as a footboy Known as John, not Mary Anne. She travelled to Santo Domingo, Flanders and the USA Bowen died but she kept the pretence up An enigma to the very end. Virtues and vices are not tied to gender But her life was destroyed by men All those guardians who wouldn’t defend her Cowards pretending to be friends Mary Anne’s long metamorphosis Left her wounded and in pain Misfortune so unrelenting From frying pan to fire again A powder monkey caught by a press gang Had to tell them who she really was No more seafaring she begged in London Only aged 30 her life drew to a close.
8.
Butterfly in a Giant’s Hands He walked through the fields A butterfly in his hands Those giant paws of his Cupped around its wings His strides were long and strong Bright eyes full of joy Released his butterfly When he reached the hospital High on the folly of man The fools have the best laid plans Like a butterfly in a giant’s hands Spreading its wings on demand A captive of a captive Antennae twitching hard Cocooned with a kind touch Back onto the flowers he flew Sun poured through stained glass At the giant’s funeral The congregation gazed At the butterfly fluttering
9.
The perpetual stranger In Vancouver a girl was born Idris Galcia Hall But the name never really suited her at all Half English, she knew how to keep a stiff upper lip With Captain Wanderwell on the longest road trip In the days of the first skyscrapers This six-foot beauty was a freak of nature In the convent, she stood out by standing up to the nuns Aloha Wanderwell - set off as a child Aloha Wanderwell - excitement ran wild Aloha Wanderwell - wed the captain at eighteen Aloha Wanderwell - became the star of the screen With pet monkey Chango, they drove through dust, mud, and rain Aloha’s wanderlust would not be detained Intoxicated by her fame the public felt fascination Inside her purring car, an intimate isolation From a childhood of adventure novels She went to roughing it in filthy hovels For the captain’s passion to bring world peace Aloha Wanderwell - loved her life on the road Aloha Wanderwell - left her babies at home Aloha Wanderwell - her husband was shot Aloha Wanderwell - she didn’t grieve a lot There’s safety in being the perpetual stranger But she got a ravishing thrill from the danger Each frontier a question mark She never asked for permission Aloha Wanderwell - no she wouldn’t let you in Aloha Wanderwell - lived a life so terrifying Aloha Wanderwell - a storytelling queen Aloha Wanderwell - there was nothing she hadn’t seen
10.
Barefoot Scarecrow Temperature of 101, he should never have left the boat Fainted and lay in the water, the waves lapping round his throat Dragged himself onto the shore, the others thought he’d dashed his head No-one there to see his torch, no rescue party, left for dead. He was a barefoot scarecrow But I’m only here because he survived From Rangoon jail they let him go He nearly died for nothing it transpired. Terrified of being stabbed in the back, he slept against a tree He woke up dizzy with a terrible thirst, in enemy territory Dived into a paddy field, to gulp down water full of bugs Caught and questioned he was sicker now, in need of food, in need of drugs.
11.
A Crime of which I am proud When Hitler wanted your statue destroyed You must have done something right Edith bound the wounds of her country’s enemies She had no fear nor shrinking; Death was not strange or fearful to her Confinement was a solemn fast from distractions One battered postcard of thanks was all that they needed Sent to a firing squad she never pleaded her innocence It’s a crime of which I am proud, she said The soldier bandaged her weeping eyes Pastor Le Seur was sick in his soul, he said When those sharp commands were given When the Germans came she felt pity Despite their vindictiveness Her clear grey eyes searched for humanity Patriotism’s not enough She realised in her final days We must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone One battered postcard of thanks was all that they needed Sent to a firing squad she never pleaded her innocence It’s a crime of which I am proud, she said The soldier bandaged her weeping eyes Pastor Le Seur was sick in his soul, he said When those sharp commands were given

about

Joe's releasing his first ever album on bandcamp on his birthday. He's played in bands from the age of 15, but has never worked as a solo artist before. This lockdown year has led him to find solace in music and hone his songwriting skills. This collection of songs sees him exploring themes of friendship, looking back at lives of his ancestors and other historical figures, but also modern day problems.

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released April 15, 2021

All songs composed and performed by Joe Peacock

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Joe Peacock Birmingham, UK

I'm a prolific singer-songwriter from Birmingham - a genre-hopping storyteller, whose music has been compared to Bowie, Blur, Costello and many others. Mostly, my songs tell stories that I find interesting and thought provoking. My music has all been recorded at home so far and all money from the digital sales of my music go into paying producers/mixing & mastering engineers. ... more

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